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AP / Grafton and Scratch Publishers
This book cover image shows "Twas the Night Before Christmas" by Clement C. Moore. This new version of "Twas the Night Before Christmas" has eliminated all references to a smoking Santa.
By Leanne Italie, Associated Press
NEW YORK — Santa has kicked the habit in time for Christmas. No, not the sugar plum habit, or his fur-wearing habit, or his penchant for romping recklessly around open flame.
No, gentlepeople, this is the year the man in red gave up pipe tobacco, at least in a new book version of "Twas the Night Before Christmas" that has received attention from some lofty corners, including the American Library Association and the American Academy of Pediatrics.
The self-published Pamela McColl of Vancouver, Canada, has a mission for her story, to protect children and their parents from the ravages of smoking. She mortgaged her house and sunk $200,000 into her telling of the 189-year-old holiday poem, touring the states to promote it ahead of its September release.
What, particularly, did McColl do? She excised these lines: "The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth. And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath." And she added to the cover: "Edited by Santa Claus for the benefit of children of the 21st century."
And she included a letter from Santa on the back jacket flap announcing that "all of that old tired business of smoking" is behind him, claiming (by the way) that the reindeer can confirm his fur outerwear is faux out of respect for animals, including the polar bears of his beloved North Pole.
"There is a huge debate raging," McColl said of the attention. "I have been called every name in the book. One person said the only wreath they want to see this Christmas is one on my grave. Shame, shame, shame on you is the most common."
The 54-year-old entrepreneur and mother of adult twins said she's on Santa's case about smoking because she has seen firsthand how harmful it can be, recalling how at age 18 she had to pull her own father out of his burning bed after he fell asleep with a lit cigarette. She smoked herself as a teen but quit and is thankful her kids never took up the habit.
Deborah Caldwell-Stone, the ALA's deputy director for intellectual freedom, doesn't have a hard heart. But she doesn't see tobacco addiction when she considers what McColl has done. She sees "Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" and "Tom Sawyer."
A publisher put out a combined version of those classics last year as edited by Mark Twain scholar Alan Gribben, who replaced about 200 occurrences of the N-word with "slave." Of McColl, Caldwell-Stone said:
"This wasn't a retelling. This wasn't a parody. This wasn't an adaptation. This wasn't a modernization. This wasn't fanfic. This was presenting the original but censoring the content. That kind of expurgation that seeks to prevent others from knowing the original work because of a disapproval of the ideas, the content, is a kind of censorship that we've always disapproved of."
Caldwell-Stone said as much in a statement the ALA publicly released. She said the two cases involve the "altering of a classic work of literature with a view toward protecting modern sensibilities, or preventing children from being aware of the character of the original work."
AP / Applesauce Press
This illustration shows an image of Santa Claus smoking a pipe from the book "The Night Before Christmas," illustrated by Charles Santore. Santore's version keeps the traditional lines from the 189-year-old holiday poem by Clement C. Moore.
Stephen Colbert had some thoughts on the matter in November, only he was louder and funnier.
"Santa can't quit smoking," he bellowed on his Comedy Central show, holding back a laugh. "He needs that vice. You try dealing with the stress of delivering the world's toys in a single night. We're lucky he's not doing a pa rum pum pum pum of coke off of Blitzen's ass."
McColl said she's trying to offer one option among dozens of versions of the rhyme that helped launch Santa Claus as an icon. She wants to shake up complacency over tobacco addiction and believes the pipe and rings of smoke around his head do resonate with little kids who don't have the same Santa filters as the rest of us, especially those who have parents or other loved ones who smoke.
"To them, Santa's not some historical guy," McColl said from Portland, Ore., where she recently finished nearly a full year on the road. "He's a real character. He's a real person coming down the chimney, and he's smoking. That's what a 3-year-old thinks like."
McColl said she ran into supporters during her travels, including children who fret about Santa's health. Smoking, she said, is something Clement C. Moore, a churchgoing academic, also wasn't fond of. He once called tobacco "opium's treacherous, villainous friend."
A Troy, N.Y., newspaper published the poem anonymously in 1823 as "A Visit from St. Nicholas." Moore, who lived in Manhattan with his wife and six children, claimed the work in 1844, though some historians think Henry Livingston Jr. was the true creator.
Moore presented the New York Historical Society, of which he was a member, with a handwritten manuscript of the poem and it resides there today, along with a boxful of about 20 book versions of the work that now includes no-smoking Santa, donated by McColl.
"I think it reflects the times, so we were amused by it," said Mariam Touba, the society's reference librarian.
Among the courtesy stops for McColl during her walkabout promoting the book was a visit in October to the American Academy of Pediatrics in Chicago. The group of about 60,000 doctors said the book "was not reviewed or considered by our leadership in any official way," but McColl insists that "Public health loves this book."
A much easier endorsement stop was the advocacy group Americans for Nonsmokers' Rights, based in Berkeley, Calif.
"The intent of this heartwarming story about Santa Claus and Christmas remains intact despite the omission of the smoke," said the group's executive director, Cynthia Hallett. "My guess is many children will not notice the absence of the smoke."
McColl estimated she has sold more than 15,000 hard copies of the book in English, French and Spanish. She has given away thousands in e-books and to hospitals and charities in paper.
What's next, Colbert asked? Kale chips and coconut water instead of cookies and milk? "This political correXmas," he said, "must be stopped."
Copyright 2012 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.
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Leave a Comment:
This makes me very sad.... friggin' PC nonsense.
Absolutely ridiculous.
In Washington State Santa smokes a bong. How else do you get Reindeer to fly LSD???
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bf9lUdRWFA
People need to get themselves behind REAL causes. Make differences in people's lives on a day-to-day basis.
Yes, yes, fine It was her money and her home and her efforts towards abolishing one mention of smoking. Good luck on basically erasing the thousands of years that people have been doing it, though.
What a loser and pathetic individual....
Why aren't youcomplaining that we still revere a commie character that breaks into homes to give free stuff...
This entitlement culture starts programming children when they are young to expect hand outs. make them work for it, nothing is free.
Next up on the PC list:
Skinny: can't be overweight.
No "visions of sugarplums", again the anti-sweets police.
No "St. Nick" (a/k/a Santa Clause): have no reference to a religion.
No Red nosed Clause (too indicative of probable alcoholism.)
No going down the chimney (can't have breaking into houses.)
Finally, needless to say, the reindeer have all got to be released to the wild, lest PETA begin protesting at the North Pole.
Don't forget: along with the offensive terms of "midget" and "dwarf," the word "elf" will no longer be tolerated, nor will the word "helpers," as in the phase "Santa's Little Helpers" (that gives their job title an unwarranted sexual connotation, just like the word "toy" could put the wrong thing in people's minds--and we can't have that, now, can we?). From now on, the little people are to be known simply as workshop creators, with no indication of sexual preference, height, weight or gender in their title.
And as Jeff Dunham's friend Peanut said about 'Twas, "It's old and stupid." So we're going to have to drop that famous first line, too. You know, to appeal to the younger generation that doesn't use the antiquated phrase, as "twas" could affect the marketability of books.
Agreed
If your children are going to smoke because you read them Twas the Night Before Christmas, you aren't doing your job as a parent.
I have yet to see a young adult or child start smoking because jolly old St. Nick smokes a pipe. Smh.
You haven't seen all those pipe-smokin' 7 year olds?
They are such a burden to society.
When I was a teen, I had a favorite record album with a photo of the singer on the cover, holding a lit cigarette. My mother would freak out about it, always saying she wanted to cut out a little paper heart and paste it over the cigarette, but I wouldn't have my beloved album fouled in that way. Did it ever encourage me to even consider smoking? Of course not!
Kids are smarter than people tend to give them credit for. Remember several years ago when "A Series of Unfortunate Events" was being published and extremely popular? A lot of parents fretted over kids reading the awful things that happened in those stories, but as one article put it, the kids get it. They know the difference.
Teach kids about tobacco and other health dangers in realistic settings, and they'll know the difference when they encounter it in fiction. And any kid who still believes in Santa by the time they're old enough to start smoking has another set of problems.
Ridiculous! States are beginning to legalize weed but Santa is denied a pipe? Suppose it's loaded with weed? PC jerks.
Y'know, maybe that's how Santa manages to eat all those Christmas cookies... :)
I have the first Curious George book and one page he sits in the Man in the Yellow Hat's chair and smokes a pipe. My preschooler never asked about it or Santa's smoking.
I think by the time people are old enough the start smoking they already know Santa isn't real and neither is his pipe. How many 6-7 year olds have you seen lighting up lately? Some people just have to push their anti-smoking agenda in everyone's face.
Santa isn't real?
Lola, Too funny! Thanks for the chuckle!
This may be hard to believe, but there's a fellow who wrote to our local newspaper about this "attack on Christianity". Man, it really reminds me of that t-shirt that says "God must love stupid people - he makes so many of them!"
Edgar, to that type, anything that's not the bloody 700 Club or Faux Nooz is an "attack on Christianity", so it's not hard to believe at all. These people think that "Happy Holidays" is a communist attack on all that is holy, despite the fact that I've been hearing it for fifty Christmases without the edifice of Western civilization falling. So I'm supposed to be surprised that some jackwad thinks that playing fast-and-loose with C. C. Moore's fictional Santa is a direct assault on Teh Liddle Baybee Jayzus (tm)?...
Conjuring - comment 6.1 - I think you misunderstood, I should have been more clear. It's almost beyond belief, but the clown was calling the removal of Santa's pipe the attack!
No, I understand perfectly. To wit; these people think that the old Christmas traditions are somehow part and parcel of "traditional Christianity," and that to alter any of them is a direct attack on the entire religion. Which is ridiculous considering that the whole Santa Claus thing is an extremely late addition to a holiday that for centuries wasn't even celebrated in Christian culture. It shows me that these people don't even begin to understand the religion they so loudly proclaim themselves to follow...
Okay, exactly how does she get away with putting the name Clement C. Moore on this? If she changed the words of the work, it's no longer Moore's work but hers. If the work is public domain, she should have the honesty to not try to palm it off as Moore's when it is not; if it isn't PD, she should be sued for copyright infringement by the copyright holder...
If the work is being cited as being by the original author, it should be the original work.
Otherwise it should be under her name with a subheading, "based on the classic by Clement C. Moore."
Just so people know what they're getting. Otherwise people could write any kind of nonsense and claim it is the work of previous authors.
There is a word for this kind of nonsense and it's called "bowdlerism." After the guy who took it upon himself to rewrite Shakespeare without all the violence and swearing and stuff that he considered unfit for the ears of women and children.
There's another word for it and it rhymes with "full frit" but the message board won't let me post it.
See also "Boothroyd's New Family Bible,"which a bowdlerized edition.
ah, if only George Carlin were still around to provide his wry wit & wisdom...
She mortgaged her house and spent $200,000.00 of her own money on this folly? She is an idiot... and in more ways than one. I'm surprised that she left references to sugar plums dancing in sleeping childrens' heads because we all know that eating candy leads to obesity. Oh wait, maybe that's for next year.
Someone else has already gone after "don we now our gay apparel."
I agree, though, that she should have put her name on the cover, or a pen name, as it is no longer as it was originally written.
I'm ashamed to admit I share Canadian citizenship with this nut job. In the original story, Santa had a pipe. It's called history. What will be rewritten next? Now that it's legal to smoke pot in some states, Santa will be smoking a joint that the elves rolled for him?
This is asanine. I always amazes me that we just can't get through any holiday without someone creating drama where there doesn't need to be any. My kids have never even seen a pipe. Not because I shield them from the world at large, but because we don't know anyone that smokes one.
But if they ask, I will tell them. Not a big deal. Two out of three already know I'm Santa (shhhhh) and I don't smoke. So there.
This is absolutely insane, ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Everything is SO PC anymore you can't do anything. This country... ugh.
This is a non-story except the aspect that so many people, including the majority of people posting here, are getting bent out of shape about such an incidental part of the story. It's no worse without the pipe. Relax. She spent her money to produce this. Let her book be measured by wallets not half wits.
I just want to know when we are going to put Santa on a diet! Everyone knows that obesity is a bigger health problem than smoking. This women is a dumb twit who needs to get a life!
Personally, I think the whole story should be corrected all at once.
No smoking, tofu cookies and soy milk to help curb Santa's fatness, no references to fairies and gay - oh wait- that is ok. No more fat references or "like a bowl full of jelly"- too many calories- perhaps "Like a glass full of Perrier in a Los Angeles earthquake".
We have to ditch the reindeer- keep the animal rights lefties happy, and replace them with some kind of magical Solyndra Night time solar - oh wait - they folded with all of my tax money.
I know- ditch the flying sleigh and everything and have him deliver around the world in his brand new government subsidized Chevy Volt! Oh, I forgot- it only goes like 40 miles before a recharge.
And let's not forget that he is setting a bad example of trespassing and should be arrested everywhere.
You know, I just think it is time to drop this whole Santa idea and ban the book as racist. He is a white man you know.
Political correctness will be the underlying factor in the total collapse of all that was once good and now has to be "edited" as to not offend someone.
Good post!
McColl is part of the self proclaimed thought police, sanitizing history to protect us from ourselves. Ms McColl I'm sure you think that you're providing a great public service changing a man's great work to satisfy and conform to your own smug sense of propriety, but what you have done is one more small part of what chips away from freedom of thought and self determination replacing it with counterfeit art, thought, and the dumbing down of great ideas. What you have done is in a subtle way a great danger to the truth of history, and to the modern culture upon which it was built.
I completely agree with Jogrinder
Jogrinder, you are completely wrong. The very fact that she is able to produce this demonstrates the presevation of freedom of thought. Just as Plato built upon Socrates, so has she continued that hard fought tradition. It seems that you represent the cadre that would prevent any modification to anything as if all that has been written has been perfect for all time. This would make you the thought police, not her. You need not purchase her work but you should defend her right to produce and market it.
Please check your reactionary nature and try to comprehend that your actions contradict your words.
Well I had this idea a couple years ago when I read the story thru a recordable story book from Hallmark . I simply read it with another line to leave out he smoking part. I also changed up the lines about the kerchief and nightgowns My grandkids will figure it out someday when they can read it themselves But I was happy to read it without the smoking part included.
Then you are a participant in the silliness.
Too bad when we try to change or hide history, instead of celebrating the evolution that people have gone through. History hidden or sanitized is eventually forgotten and so doomed to be repeated.
Amen to that. Voting for your comment was not enough.
Oh for F sake! What next? A slim muscular clean shaven santa? These PC types are a bunch of fools. Idiots and pussies . . . all of 'em.
This book should come with a tool for removing the stick from the purchasers arse.
This truly is ridiculous. A message informing readers that santa's fur is now faux fur out of respect for animals? But its still ok to capture those animals out of the wild, tie them to a sleigh and force them to pull a a giant sleigh laden with a 300lb man and a ton of toys. Yea...we've really come a long way. What is happening...what happened to the good old cartoons of old, these new cartoons they have out are just pathetic....horrible. I hunt animals...I wear fur, its all about being responsible. Its on thing the Indians had right, its ok to do these things...just don't take more than you need.
Are you kidding me? 189 year old story, and she feels the need to change it? WTF??? Mortgage her home for $200,000? Happy Holiday, no pipe, gay apparel. I don't know what to say it surprises me so much. What a WHACKO!!!! Enjoy things the way they are supposed to be. Quit trying to change parts of history.
I wish the nanny goats like this pseudo-author would just leave us alone. We don't need re-telling of Moore's classic. It has stood on its own for nearly 200 years. It has shaped the way we all think about St. Nick, and do you know what children love? They love it when you pull out an old beautifully illustrated copy and read it to them at Christmastide. To change this literature is to do a disservice to the children for which it was written.